hello everyone

First of all I'm sorry about disapering leaving so many commitements hanging and not saying anything about it. I'm sure lots of you are angry about it and you should be. I feel really guilty about the way I vanishead.


I had a breackdown last year. result from the stress and owrkload of last year of college, knowing I wanst going to get a job (I changed major so I spent 3 extra years at college) and family pressure for me to start working quickly (part because of the 3 extra years and part because we're having a hard time economically speaking). whit all this (and oher stuf nit worth mentioning)I just ended up colapsing. I know I should let people around here know what was going on istead of just bailing whitouth warning. but my natural reaction was to get way from as most human contact as I could... and whit internet contact its just so easy to do it. plus I really didnt want to talk about what was going on whit me.

unfortunatelly to make everithing worse I made a really stupid thing. I already had got a drepession 5y ago and this time when I started feeling unbalanced I thougth if I just keep my self busy and entertained I would have the chance to give in to my dark moods. that was stupid and made eruthing worse. And I apologize for thet to cause that was who I let myself whit so much comiitements to fullfil here.

I think I can say I'm fully recovered now (hope I'm not being to optmistic). so its was more than time to appear to explain myself.. and lately I was starting to feel bad manly because I was feeling guilty about bc and bo. but I was also ashamed of the way I dealed whit things and a little bit afraid to face you all... it was becaming a vicius circle. I hope I'm breaking it.

I'll start to send books out soon (i'm doing bookrings and books from exchanges first, then the swaps and relays)
once again I'm really sorry and you have all the rigth to be mad at me.

p.s.- I'm sorry for the huge amount of typing errors and bad english on this post - its worst than ever- I think I really lost the habit of expressing myself in english)

Good to see you back and are doing better. Always take care of yourself first. :hug:

Aw, butterfly - SO sorry to hear about the bad time you've had - but SO happy to hear you're feeling well now - and I'm glad you came back here! We were worried about you!!!!! Take care!!! :hug:

Hi butterfly! I already said how happy I was to see you back in the Portuguese forum but I'll say so again here. I'm so relieved you're okay, and feeling better. We missed you. :hug:

Welcome back and glad you are feeling better . Hope all goes well with your job search. :hug:

I'v seen that you gave the news for and from me were. Thank you we're a sweety


and thanks for the welcoming girls. you're to kind. I still feel I'd deserved a godd :bash: and :whip: . and will problably feel until I have all my je and sendings up to date

I know first-hand how hard dealing with depression can be and completely understand the urge to withdraw and hide! Glad to hear you are feeling better.

:hug:

Glad you are back and feeling better. :hug:

Hey Black Butterfly :bananadance:
I am so glad to hear from you. We were worried. Glad to hear you are doing much better now.

I also know firsthand about dealing with being depressed and how hard life is.

You know that when the phone rings I can get hysterical :blush: , just do not want to talk to people. (I can't see who is calling so that makes it worse) :rolleyes:

:hug:

O wait I will give you a :whip: and a :bash: :lol:

Welcome back butterfly
We are going through some tough economic stuff right now. And had the depression along with it.
So I feel for you and glad to see you are making a comeback.
Take care of yourself :hug:

Butterfly we are all just glad to know you are alive. :hug: Depression is a black hole that's hard to come out of. Been there a few times myself. I'm glad you're doing better now. :kiss:

Welcome back! :hug:

Welcome back! Glad to hear things are getting better for you!

Good to see you back Butterfly. :hug:

It is good to see you back, and glad you're doing better.

Believe me, a lot of us here can probably relate to some extent what you were feeling with the depression - as readers we're more likely to be the kind of people who are more likely to be hit by it - smart and creative.

But we're here for you. :hug:

Thanks for the post, butterfly.

Good to see you back, let me know if there's anything you need.
Take care!

Welcome Back, Butterfly! :hug:

It is so nice to see you. Take real good care of yourself - books are not anywhere near as important as your health!

And just take your time with the je's and stuff, so you do just what you feel comfortable doing, and don't get overwhelmed!

Here's hoping life settles down for you! :goodvibes:

Tell ya what.... I will give ya the :whip: and :bash: so you can stop feeling like you deserve them and hope it will get you past feeling guilty. We all here have had our moments of real life taking precedence over our internet life (as it should), we've all had rough times too. It's really hard to be mad at someone for that.

You came back and you've said you are going to get caught up.... so the few that might've been bent out of shape over it can relax and know you'll make good as you can (no worries & no hurries).

The really important thing is you. You're doing better and feeling better and re-finding all your friends here. I hope knowing we are all still here and all still your friends helps take a little more stress off of you. :pat:

Welcome Back! :wub: It's nice to see you here again. :hug:

Nice to have you back!!! Sending you lots of love. :flower:

thank you all for the :hug: and the :bash:

both were higly apreciated

Im glad your back but more importantly Im glad your feeling better. Also thankyou for sending me a book from the valentine swap (it is a wishlist book - not sure if you knew that or not.) :hug:

I knew.

it sounded god. hope will enjoy it

ps - I just love the bookdepository and are so quick efficiente and cheap!

I love Bookdepository too! Though sometimes they take ages updating the order status on the site (I received an order from them and only three days after did they mark it shipped, *snort*).

Welcome back butterfly. Everyone here understands. You have been so brave and battled depression. That is inspiration to all of us. We all struggle sometimes.

Congratulations and Welcome back!

Butterfly, I'm really pleased you are feeling better now and doubly pleased that you've shown the courage and strength to come on here and let us know what your situation was.

Please don't put yourself under any added pressure to get 'caught up' too soon - I'm just glad you're OK now.