Today I went to pick up my vacuum cleaner ... the elderly man, Randy, was fixing the plug thingie that goes into the wall.

My vacuum was not ready, he said, because he got sidetracked reading jokes on his computer. So I spent an hour with Randy chatting about this 'n that, talking current events & trying to help him move his address book from yahoo to Juno.

Some of these are pretty funny:

> A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
> > groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a
> > good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an
> > upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady,
> > (mid eighties).
> >
> > The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a
> > sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
> >
> > <><><><><><><>
> >
> > An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
> > He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
> > set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
> >
> > The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
> > said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
> > you up can hear again."
> >
> > The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
> > around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three
> > times!"
> >
> > <><><><><><><>
> >
> > Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
> > under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years
> > old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
> > age. How do you feel?"
> >
> > Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
> >
> > "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
> >
> > "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
> >
> > <><><><><><><>
> > Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being
> > discharged.
> >
> > However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly
> > gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his
> > feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
> >
> > After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to
> > the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
> >
> > "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing
> > out of her hospital gown."
> >
> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> >
> > Three old guys are out walking.
> > First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
> > Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
> > Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer"
> >
> > <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> >
> > A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
> > cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
> > "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
> > " Twelve thirty."
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
> > physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
> > street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later,
> > the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't
> > you?"
> > Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma
> > and be cheerful.'"
> > The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
> > murmur; be careful.'"
> >
> > =============================
> >
> > A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and
> > pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his
> > breath, he ordered a banana split.
> > The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
> > "No," he replied, "Arthritis."
*****

:lol: I love them! I emailed them to my grandma, I bet she'll get a kick out of them too... :)

:lol: Funny! Thanks LB those made me laugh which I needed. ;)

More fun for a cold, rainy week (at least here in TX)!
You Tube- Dad and Comedy Barn